Ambulance


For so many times this one seems as it never happened Is like those old film videos In sepia Which generally is based on people in beaches, parks Kids playing But this one is more like “cigarette burns” Looking out the window, seeing trees passing by cars But I do remember well the street lamps
One after the other There were three persons inside Is difficult to identify who were The truth is I wasn´t so conscious of what was happening It felt like a trip Certainly, I was disorient
I can´t really focus in a certain sound But I was moving, that was very clear Beyond of course the windows and the street
lamps It was suffocating
I was laying down looking to the ceiling There was a pressure in my head that clouded my seeing Like it darkened my eyes And that´s why can´t remember who was with me I do remember that they were a little higher Sitting down a… I don´t know 50 cm higher than me They were anxious, stressed I don´t remember who they were so I remain anonymous of who they are I don´t want to dig in, close or distant, maybe, I don´t know By stories I do know but my memory is vague And at the same time is ephemeral Repetitive Maybe because for the street lamps I don´t remember very well the color of the
ambulance I don´t even remember if it was full of tools,
or equipment But, it was so silent And is, I think, something unusual that there was silence
Generally, an ambulance is something chaotic arriving to its destiny I know that outside exists all the turbid, all the mess that you can imagine But is hard to concentrate in something, a specific sound I wasn´t suffering, I know that I was more expecting, I wanted to know where
I was going Despite that in the moment, I thought were I was going I don´t remember well the route I went through those streets every morning and every night No, not at night, afternoons The round trip to go to school and back home It was different to live it that way I didn´t share the trip with nobody
I wasn´t talking to anyone For those days there wasn´t or, there wasn´t
in my life a MP3 or CD player So I used to talk, to read in the school bus My distraction was always to talk, look out the window And here I didn´t have any distraction I don´t know If I try to relate it to the light of the day The color tone of the windows Because, I guess, they have to obscure the light from the outside Is so uncertain
Is maybe the vaguest memory, the first memory at all that I can visualize Even though, I feel so lost Is hard. What I was thinking in that moment? Probably of who I think I am, maybe not in
the “trip” but in the places I was Like, which homework I had for the next day. Or what I was supposed to do that afternoon Is terrible but, in a sort of way, amazing what a memory can be And the force one endure on reaching this memory But, is maybe so difficult to unlock that so simple moment I don´t know I don´t know

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